My Dad was full of Pennsylvania Dutch common sense. When my great Aunt Zoe died and left a sizeable estate (she herself had accumulated it from her sisters, great aunts Maude and Ottie)…to her great nieces and nephews. Dad came up with a good system for keeping the peace when it came to dividing the estate. I want to share it with you:
THE SYSTEM: He hired an auctioneer to use to itemize and sell everything. We then got an itinerary list with appraised price estimates for all the stuff. (I have used this technique twice myself. I used a garage sale expert one time and an estate appraiser another to itemize and price the goodies.)
Second, since the only two heirs divvying up my Dad's share of the loot were my sister and I, we tossed a coin to see who would get first pick from the auctioneers itinerary list. The other would get second pick and we then continued alternating picks until we picked all the stuff we each wanted-AND HERE’S THE KEY-and were willing to pay for.
The stuff we wanted was set aside and not offered at the auction.
The auction was held.
The total cost of our selection of goodies came out of our share of the auction proceeds. Right off the top. Pop deducted the total of appraised value of the stuff we took, then deducted these amounts from our shares of the proceeds of the auction.
THE VULTURES: Somehow every heir and many non-heirs just happen to place great sentimental value and really want something in particular from dead old HoosieWatsis-Until faced with the fact they will need to pay fair market value to get it. The amount of demands being made on the Executor for the very expensive stuff drops way down!
ABOUT EXECUTORS: My Aunts had not wanted any trees cut down from the summer cottage, they wanted the Phildelphia town house to stay in the family forever, they wanted this they wanted that, and put it all in their will; thinking that by leaving their stuff to the children of their relatives they would be sure their wishes were honored. Duhhh!
I have been an estate executor several times. I use my Dad's System when the Senior Heirs let me: Develop an itinerary, Establish a market price for everything, Give heirs, etc. the ability to purchase what they really want, Then sell the rest, deduct their share and distribute the balances. It really works well.
EXECUTORS: What doesn’t work is putting your requests and bequests in your will and making a Family Member your Executor. Your requests and bequests will almost always be modified or ignored by the Family Member Executor who will have his/her own opinions about who should get what, and the Senior Relatives will threat the executor with reprisals if he doesn’t ignore the will and do what they say. I was involved in two different instances where a will was so controversial it was just thrown away and forgotten about.
This application of “Reasonable Executor Judgement” often occurs even when funeral arrangements are specified in a living will document, a personal note from the deceased, or in the will itself. It is rare a Family Member Executor gets sued about his fiduciary responsibilities..
How many times do you think a deceased who requests there be no viewing gets their wish? They want to save the estate money. They don’t want people to remember them looking like this…”Just use a picture of me when on my wedding day”.. Forgetabout it. There will be a viewing. We need to get together and talk about the good and, in the hallway of the morgue, the bad about you.
SOLUTION: So don’t waste your time Geezers and Geezetts, just writing down what you want to happen and thinking it will. The game is 'Executor Take All' and the only safe way to handle your estate-one that is sure to be resisted by your loved ones…Select An Attorney to be the Executor of your will and give him/her you will and last wishes.
I really am anti-attorney, but you do what you have to do.
This advice is to die for...Pass It On.
