What is it that seduces my mind? Leads me off into thinking and saying and doing and becoming a me I don’t want to be?
Is there a Satan like most Christians say? Or is it an Absence of the Light of God, a wandering off the Path-like they teach in A Course In Miracles? Or is there an angry and mean side of God? Like in Old Testament and Islamic teachings?
I don’t know what that dark thing is we struggle with. That thing we call evil. It, too, is behind my veil of knowing. Best I can do is listen when the small voice inside me whispers. Be alert when I taste too much sugar in my coffee. Question when I feel too much anticipation. If I am lucky, someone me will tell me directly I am crossing the line…and I will know they are right.
I am constantly plagued with demons. They persist like a chronic cough, Sometimes, like tonight, they pull an “I Gotcha”, influence me to do wrong; then keep me from sleeping. keep me rerunning a ‘why did I” tape. Keep me rethinking about my venture off the path.
Why did I? The Devil Made Me Do It!
You think there is no “Allah”? That my god is an invention of my psyche? Well let me bear testimony that my invention works. Powerful, this thing called Prayer. Meditation. Allowing Him In. My God-given internal GPS system may not always give me the directions I expect. I may not always hear it, but I trust it. It works. I ask a “Holy Spirit” for help and help is always provided.
I am sleepy. Back to bed. Will look again in the Mirror tomorrow for who I really want to be. Re-pledge my allegiance to my Good God. And try to raise my awareness of my demons, gleefully waiting to entrap me again. And they will.
No comments:
Post a Comment